


One Day

by overdose



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Adoption, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-28
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-03-03 23:13:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2891651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/overdose/pseuds/overdose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaneki and Tsukiyama are entrusted with one job: take care of their friend's baby girl. They do a horrible job.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Day

**Author's Note:**

> i have problems

"Okay... A baby. We can do this!" Kaneki carried the girl to their house.

"No, no! You're holding her wrong!" Tsukiyama snatched the baby.

He jumped. "Hey, don't do that! You'll hurt her!"

"I know how to deal with children, Kaneki-kun. I've dealt with you for a while."

"What was that?!"

"Nothing, sweetie. Now..." he set the baby on the couch. "What's her name?"

Kaneki didn't want to rage now, but he was getting impatient. "You forgot her name?!"

"Did you remember it?"

"....No...!"

"Exactly.. now, um, girl, do you like toys?"

The baby blinked. "Mommy?"

"I bet Mommy has toys.." Kaneki snickered.

"Yay!" She clapped her hands. "Mommy toys!"

Tsukiyama sighed. "Kaneki-kun, would you mind... Oh, I don't know... perhaps help me in taking care of a baby?!"

"Hold on, I think I lost her bag.."

"What?!"

 

* * *

 

 

After being sneezed on, Tsukiyama did a backflip to the bathroom and began to wash himself. Kaneki didn't know why he panicked, but he shrugged it off and took care of the girl. 

"This," he pointed at human meat with a spoon. "Is what ghouls dine on." 

"Food," she held Kaneki's finger.

"That's called cannibalism. I tasted Daddy before, and he was above average. I don't recommend it." 

"I can hear you!" Tsukiyama shouted. 

The baby stared at the finger. She blinked with curiosity. Kaneki saw the gleam in her eye and cursed. 

"Ow!" 

Half of his finger was gone. "Tsukiyama-san, help me!" 

"I'm exercising!" 

"Jacking off in the shower is not exercise!"

 

* * *

 

 

"Okay, what happened?" Tsukiyama wrapped Kaneki's finger with a towel. 

"She bit my finger..." 

"She has good taste," he kissed his head. "Her mother will be here soon.. By the way, where is she?" 

"While you were boiling your hand I put her to sleep." Kaneki was at a state  of peace, with Tsukiyama at his side. "This is surprisingly relaxing.." 

"I want kids of our own.." 

"Its physical impossible." 

"So?"

_"So?!"_

 

* * *

 

The doorbell rang. Kaneki was the one to open it. "Touka-chan, thank the- I mean you're here! She was such a joy-" 

"Shut up. Where is my girl?"

Their eyes went to the middle of the main room. Tsukiyama was telling the baby jokes, and she was giggling. "Oh no," Touka sighed. 

"Hello, Touka-chan. Your daughter was great!" He handed her over to her mother. 

"Well, she bit my finger off.." 

"What?!" 

"I mean yeah she was an angel." 

Touka headed out. "Thanks guys. Looks like I was wrong. See ya." She left. 

Kaneki released  a huge amount of stress. He fell on Tsukiyama. "I never want children." 

"Its a good thing we're gay."

 


End file.
